The Subtle Art of Toning Down: Book Tropes vs Real Life

In my dermatology practice, I am often asked the same question (or maybe some variants of it) by a lot of people - "Will my skin glow with this cream?"

My answer is always, invariably - "Of course, not!"

No matter how many eye-rolls and eyebrow raises my answers invite, I am firm on what I say about the newest skin-glowing cream, even if it claims so. It is almost impossible to make human beings 'glow'. It would take a totally drastic DNA sequencing and alteration to make you glow in any way. Fireflies glow, some fish and animals glow, even Vampires in Twilight glow. Human beings don't.

They smile. And they get the point. They rephrase the question - "What I mean to ask is will it make my skin shine?"

My reply is still the same, with a better explanation. Yes, it will make your skin clearer. Maybe a bit blemish-free. Maybe you feel 'slightly' lighter because of tan reduction. But that is it. I remind people of the toothpaste advertisement, famous in 90s, where an entire village stands in a queue to light up the road because their teeth shone like hundreds of tubelights in a row. It was funny and it drove the point across that the particular toothpaste helps you clean your teeth in a way better than the others. But in reality, we don't expect to see our teeth shining like pearls or worse, tubelights and bulbs. Similarly, no sane women will chase a man on roads, no matter whatever deo they apply. We get the message.

Advertisements thrive on larger-than-life storytelling and hyping up things. So, do books, movies and TV shows. They are not expected to be taken literally. This art of taking things with a pinch of salt and bringing them to our lives to match reality is called toning down. It is a subtle art but needs a lot of patience and reality check.

A lot of times, we find ourselves watching tv and films, reading books, and then silently sighing, "But it only happens in movies and books, right?"
Right!
You get the point. Situations, circumstances, plot themes in films and fiction books are created, planned and planted deliberately to add a layer of mystery, romance, thrill, or suspense. They are all carefully contrived and serve a purpose - either to move the story ahead, reveal something about the characters and their relationship or to add conflict. Even the dialogues and instances in the storytelling are devices to serve the story, so that the drama and climax wrap up in 400 pages.

Imagine someone holding your hand under the moonlight and crooning a melody to serenade to you or speaking a long monologue of love and togetherness forever. Cringe, right? Thankfully, it doesn't happen in real life. Usually doesn't😊. And no one ever looks at your face momentarily to guess what you are going through. Chances are you will have to shout at the top of your lungs and declare war before people actually get what you are trying to convey.  How about a billionaire obsessed with you, felt possessive and stalked you to a point it drives you crazy? You will end up blocking him everywhere. So, here's where we put our art of toning down to use. Books, novels, poetry and movies are a beautiful escape to wonderland, not meant to be translated word to word in real. Instead, the message must be slightly toned down to avoid smothering people around us with over-the-top, unrealistic expectations.

Storylines, plot themes and characters following a set pattern are called tropes. Enemies to lovers where a spicy banter turns to undeniable passion; childhood friends turned lovers, especially after the girl faces a traumatic experience; a pretend-relationship through a contract, forcing a proximity between people who don't get along well; forbidden relationships due to family animosity, or maybe a social taboo; damsel in distress, the beauty and the saviour, the beast; an ordinary character out to save the world; memory loss; office romance, etc. etc... Fascinating, isn't it?

These are some of the tropes I have loved to watch and read about. The best part is how they are woven intricately in different stories by different writers, making them appealing every time they are explored. I wonder, how I would have relished if I had seen any of them in real life. But I haven't. So, I look again but this time, I tone down, apply a brush stroke of rosy pink shade and a soft-glow filter to reality I see everyday and find they are great to toss around in a new story I am writing.

Fiction is meant to slowly draw us within a dream, to make us feel things we miss during the course of a busy day, to escape the noise and dive in the magic. It's beautiful and surreal. But the magic of fiction doesn't mean the real life relationships are any less magical. Just like human beings don't glow and their teeth don't shine, logic and sanity says we shouldn't look for dramatic tropes in real. The silence of companionship speaks louder than declarations of love. If someone watches out for you when you are late at work, orders your favourite food, checks whether you had your medicines or makes you laugh, they speak love language in their own ways. Also, expecting everyone to speak their minds clearly, communicate sensibly, bare their insecurities or worries, be reasonable, or make tall declarations of love is a bit too much. Not everyone is capable of doing that. All you need is the subtle art of toning down and you will see how stories and people around you are nothing less than special in their own way.

Let's enjoy the beauty of fantasies written around captivating characters, bask in the glory of riveting book tropes weaving unforgettable love, feel the magic of unrealistic love stories and complicated relationships, but always remember the best story is the one you are living in, even if there are no last-minute airport confessions or rain-drenched melodies.

Let me know your favourite tropes, you've loved in books.
Also, did you ever secretly wish a book trope was real and somehow landed in your life?

Have a great week ahead 💕

M.