Overwhelmed with the response to the last chapter. I don’t have words to thank you. It seems easy to write chapters and updates, but I become uneasy and tongue-tied when people comment on those. I don’t know what to say – ‘So, thank you! Life is beautiful with you girls around me. Stay blessed. Stay happy. Lots of love.’
Wish you the best – All those who are still writing their exams. Do well. Read the updates after exams 🙂
All my best wishes to all those who had their 12th results out. Wishing you for a bright future ahead. Join courses which materialize in jobs you would love to do for your entire life. Be brave. Take bold decisions to achieve your goals. Rise and Shine. Always!!
“I love you more than you could ever know!”
She didn’t speak for a long moment and held him for support while he stood still, holding her carefully in his arms as if she was a crystal figure to be handled with care.
He left her wrist, held her at her back instead and pulled her closer, not removing eyes from her even for a fraction of a second, cradling her face in his other hand. Her mouth went dry at the sudden and unexpected confession from him… Someone who didn’t even believe in words.
Her eyes were moistened but she neither dropped the tear nor she spoke anything. He lowered his face closer to her and she closed her eyes, overwhelmed and deeply moved. He kissed her eyelid. She could hold no more. A tear rolled down from each of her eyes.
He kissed her cheek, taking that tear in his mouth and whispered, “I know it wasn’t up to your expectations. But I couldn’t stop myself when you asked about my idea of love. My idea of love is ‘you’… everything about you is love… and I’m sorry… It was nothing fancy as you must have imagined as per your fairytales. I wish I could…”
“Sssshhhh!!!” This was one of those times when she shut him up. She opened her eyes and let her fingers rest over his lips, softly but firmly. “Don’t spoil it by saying so. It was perfect. ‘You’ are perfect! It was nothing like what I had ever imagined as per my fairytales…it was beyond that… it was ‘you’… it was the only way you could have done it, Manik. No pretentions, no show-off, no trying to be someone else… just you!”
Speechless, he squeezed her closer into him, to completely engulf her in his arms and bent his neck to softly brush his lips over hers, leaving a momentary feather-soft peck over them. She closed her eyes again and sighed. The very next moment, she tiptoed to reach higher, keeping her hands near his collar and initiated another kiss, passionate and intense this time, making him seize her mouth in another deeply consuming kiss, shaking her to the core.
He was always left overwhelmed whenever she initiated a kiss. It was another unspoken silent moment of complete acceptance and approval. A moment that said that she wanted him as much as he did.
He was aware that he was not perfect. No human could ever be perfect or even close to it. But every human does have a good face and a bad face. It keeps changing with people and circumstances. Nandini’s love, trust, support, acceptance, patience, and understanding ensured that his irritating, impatient, rude facets stayed subdued and rarely came to surface. His good side refused to go away when she was with him.
He might not be perfect but he wanted to be perfect… for her!
The way she had said that he was the center of her universe and she didn’t need anyone else to make her happy was enough to assure him how highly she considered him, even before her family and friends. It was really huge when a girl begins to keep her partner and their relationship even before her parents’ family. It was ‘that’ moment, when he knew that he couldn’t stop himself anymore from telling her that he thought the same about her. She was important. Very important to him!
His lips moving in urgency over hers spoke to her everything that he had been thinking about but couldn’t convey to her. Her surrender spoke about her feelings.
He was waiting for the same declaration from her… especially when she was so vocal about all her feelings and everything in general. He wanted to hear in words if she loved him too. Everything about her gestures and behaviour declared that she loved him and he had guessed it a while back. He knew that she loved him. All that she said and spoke about him was love. The way she cared about him was love. And the way she threw silent stealing glances at him, wanted him around her, seeking him, looking out for him, keeping in mind his likes and dislikes was all love. And who could understand it more than someone who had always believed in gestures. He had been reading her gestures.
But such is the human mind. Not satisfied to settle with less!!
He wished to hear it too. From her! That she loved him.
Too shaken and overwhelmed, it didn’t even occur to her that there is something like ‘I-love-you-too’… Not her fault though. He had been kissing her so passionately and deeply after a sudden, unexpected confession that she went along with the flow and let her be immersed in the elixir of affection he had provided her.
One after the other, several kisses followed, deepened and culminated in a silent expression of love. Every move, every kiss, every gesture of her conveyed to him how much she loved him, except her words.
Making love was just the next step, a gradual progression and a natural turn at this moment. None of them either stopped or tried to speak anything. It wasn’t needed. Wasn’t expected. Wasn’t even necessary.
Or so she thought…
After a long beautiful night, the morning arrived with them waking up in each other’s arms, tangled and tied together, struggling to get up and open their eyes.
She blushed profusely when she turned in bed and found him holding her close to him, his face settled in the crook of her neck, his warm breath brushing at her skin. He gave her a quick peck on her neck.
“Good morning!” She smiled.
“I love you!” He murmured in a husky deep voice, so sleepy that it appeared sexy by default.
She blushed more and snuggled close to him. He drew her closer, “Won’t you say something?”
She bit her lower lip, and replied with a coy blush, “What do I say? It was so unexpected, so sudden, so honest that I was blown away… the way they write in books? Like, it swept me off my feet… I couldn’t believe it.. especially, coming from you, I was tongue-tied and speechless… even now, I am. I could feel the thrill in every cell of my body… It’s the most amazing moment of my life… I’m still wondering if it is true…”
“Gawwwdddd!!! You can write an essay on everything. You will go on and on… but won’t say the obvious…”
He smiled adoringly, and hopelessly, and with a frustrated sigh. “You are strange, Nandu. So unpredictable yourself!! When you should stay quiet, you ramble non-stop. And when you should be saying something really important, you are speechless??!!! Phewwww!!!! Great!!!!”
She frowned slightly in an attempt to think, tilted her chin cluelessly, appearing cute and innocent to his smitten eyes, though she had just woken up from sleep. Everything about her was adorable – the satisfied, yet tired look on her face, dreamy eyes, messy hair which were so soft and silky that he couldn’t stop from playing with them and straightening them using his fingers.
“Am I supposed to say something?? What???” She shrugged.
He lost his smile and rolled his eyes, giving her a pointed look, “Forget it!”
Immediately, she realized her mistake and could easily guess what he wanted to hear. And it made her giggle, irking him more. She left him and sat straight on the bed, taking her long hair behind and tying them in a loose bun at the nape of her neck. Laughing hard, she said, “I’m sorry!! I was so taken aback last night, that I forgot to say it… I didn’t know that it was going to irk you so much…”
Hopeful this time, he sat straight too and with expectant eyes, he asked, “So?? You can say it now?”
“Alright! I’ll say it,” She held his hand, looked into his eyes and with a soft whisper, she teased him, “‘Thank you so much, Manik. Your words, your gestures, everything last night touched me!!”
With that, he was left dumbfounded. Staring at her with the same sharp look while she giggled like carefree bird chirps around the house, happy and content. On one hand, he wished to stay immersed in that laughter, drown in those eyes… and on the other, she made him roll his eyes, irked and frustrated.
“Is this what you say, when someone tells you – I love you???!”
She faked a surprised, genuine, concerned, serious look, “No??? Then… You tell me, what to say??”
“Nothing!!!” He pressed his lips together and left them with a click sound. Next moment, he got up and left the room to go to the washroom, leaving her giggling again.
It was her day, so they got ready to go to visit the places she had marked in the itinerary. And it was ‘her’ day in every sense.
It was special. Glorious and gorgeous.
He had confessed his love to her. He had spoken it in words. She could already feel the air bubbling with the effervescence of love all around them.
It was weird but for the first time in her life, she ‘wanted’ to look pretty, not aware that he found her attractive even in sleepy form and messy hair. She didn’t know that. She just wanted to dress up and be at her best, for him.
He wanted her to notice him, not aware that she already did… all the time!!! He wanted her to realize how charming he was. While she already wondered what made him such a magnet that she was drawn to him at all times!
They got ready to go out.
He observed her and knew that it was different for her today. She had an unusual, ecstatic jumpy stride to her feet. Her eyes twinkled more than everyday and her smile was amplified to an unseen magnitude. He had never expected that few words from a man could make this difference in a woman.
He had always admired that she was generally a happy soul… but today she was happier than before.
“We’ll go to Rotterdam and Zaanse Schans today!” She spoke, looking into her diary and walking ahead.
When they stepped out after locking the cottage door, he held her elbow and stopped her.
“Hmm?” She turned around, grinning.
One word at a time, deep and compelling, he asked, “So you won’t say it???”
She shrugged innocently, walked back to him. Leaning by his side, snaking her palm on his chest, she whispered a languorous, soft, “Am I supposed to say something?”
He used his eyes yet again, with a look piercing into her eyes, spearing through her soul and clicked his lips, “No!! And now, even if you want to say it, I won’t listen!”
His anger was one to die for! He became such a kid whenever his basic traits come to fore. She pressed her lips knowingly. It had been difficult to hide her grin. She felt bad for a moment for irritating him so much, but then he had been teasing her ever since they got married. He also told her that she was silly and stupid to think and talk about romance, read romantic books and lived in a fairytale. So, he had earned this tease for himself. On top of everything, he was a blast when he was angry and irritated and she loved to see this intense look when it was for not a serious issue! It was for her! He was clearly waiting for her to confess her love to him. She hated to irritate him but she was going to continue for now.
He knew that she was doing it purposefully. He also knew that she had been the most vocal, most straight-forward girl he had ever met. But since he had teased her for being romantic and living in a fairytale, since he had left her alone, since he did everything he wanted to do and made her irked by his teases, he had to pay back by having to wait…
Wait for her to tell him… If and whether she will tell him that she loves him too…
Maybe she didn’t!!! Did she love him? Like, really love him?? Or did he misread her kindness and sweetness for love and was expecting more?
What if she didn’t love him?And all her adoration was only because they were married and living together??
Of course, she doesn’t… why would someone love me…
It should not be necessary for her to love me back, the way I do…
Wait and apprehension brings about insecurity even in the most secure relationships. When he was young, he used to pester his mom Latika for attention and accused her for loving his sister Gaurvi more. Though it was a baseless accusation, he knew that, but a craving heart just needs a little assurance that he is loved and valued, no matter how strongly he already knows it…
And it was happening again, after so many years. It had never happened before with anyone else.
He found it difficult to deal with the deep gnawing desire, a crazy yearning, a troublesome craving to hear… that she loved him too!