Tangles & Ties: Chapter 38: A Window to Soul


“But you smell so good!”

“Why are we still smelling differently? Make me smell like you!”

One word of assurance from her that he was smelling fine was enough to boost his confidence. It had been a tough call to get up from the living room and come inside to shower and change. Leaving her back there in the living room had fueled his desire for more. And then the subtle banter over the cabinet.

Did she have any idea that how he had been craving to be with her? Like crazy!!!

He couldn’t stop himself from drawing her in his lap when she stepped closer to examine the ‘hardly-there-wound’ he had been cribbing about for want of attention from her. She didn’t oppose. In fact, she slipped in his lap, as effortlessly and as willingly, as he had hoped. The way she had thrown her hands around his neck and made a move towards his lips to assure him that he was good to go ahead, was proof enough that she had been nursing almost the similar fire inside her… the one which had been troubling him too.

He didn’t waste time after that. With one hand curled around her back, he yanked her closer and raised his other hand around her jawline to steady her. His eyes shifted the gaze from her eyes, downwards to stay on her lips for a small moment before he opened his mouth and kissed her ferociously.

She kissed him too, with all his intensity and passion reflected back for him, when she opened her mouth for him, letting him deepen it. He let his tongue sweep through her mouth and lips as demandingly as she approved of, letting out a soft moan. As if it wasn’t enough for him to lose his mind that she moved her hands, from around his neck to slide up, with her fingers coursing through the strands of his hair, drawing him closer to her.

Her fingers in his hair ensured that he didn’t move away from her. He found it not only adoring but deeply intimate too. He sighed, slightly separating for a small breath, before kissing her all over again.

They had kissed before. They had made love before…
But it was different today. It was their first time after a strong realization of love. For both of them. She may keep denying it… He may not name it willingly, to avoid the jinx… but deep down, they knew that it was ‘love’ they harboured inside them and none of them had the fiber to fight this emotion that tied them to each other like never before…

Deep inside they were both aware that everything they felt for this one person was different from the entire world and they couldn’t trade it for anything. Every touch, every kiss, every move held a testimony to the precious bond they both shared…

He broke the kiss and intensely kissed her chin, moving towards her jawline and her neck leaving a trail of kisses along the path. She squirmed and pressed her lips, moving her face, giving him all the access to her body, wherever his lips or hands travelled over her. Her entire body stiffened with every kiss on her neck and every touch of his hands going down from her neck. Gradually, it became harder to breathe. One of his hands slowly coursed its way down her torso, caressed her belly and then slipped up inside her top. It churned ripples of crazy sensations on her most sensitive spots, even through the lace between his hand and her skin.

When she could take no more, she turned to him and planted soft kisses all over his face, almost every part of his face… his cheeks to his jawline…his temples to his nose … holding his face in her delicate hands like the most precious of her possessions and when she found his eyes fixed on her,  watching her intently, she blushed and touched her forehead on his cheek. He smiled slightly and kissed her forehead.

He gathered the hem of her crop top and raised it over her head to take it off. She slowly grazed her lips along his jawline, moving down and burying her face in his neck. He pressed his lips as he drew her closer in his arms, closer than which was physically impossible to get. She was overwhelmed and she blushed more.

Her blush was his life. And his torture, too.
It enticed him all day long.
It reminded him of the effect he had on her. Nothing else could give him the high that this feeling gave him… Of being special to her… of being important to her… of being capable of melting her and eliciting this response from this crazy, talkative girl.

With his index finger below her chin, he lifted her face up towards him, to look into her eyes. The smoldering look in her eyes met the heated gaze in his eyes, before she closed them. He sighed and his warm breath caressed her face. They kissed again, deeply and intensely.

He turned them and lay her down on the bed as softly as he could manage. She almost got buried between the fluffy soft mattress draped in black below her and her husband above her. Resuming the searing hot kisses, they adjusted all along their bodies as if they were meant to fit into each other’s frame.

With fingers of one hand intertwined together with her fingers, his other hand ensured to pay proper attention to every little detail of her body. His hands were silk, tickling her, soothing her, worshipping her till she was throbbing to her core. His mouth left wet kisses down her neck, sending quivers through her spine. His toe caressed her foot and her ankle before it slid up her leg and calf, sliding her long skirt above with it.

She lowered her hand down his torso to feel the muscles he had toned hard at the gym. It didn’t take long for her to do away the tie and drop it down, followed by the buttons of his shirt. Removing the flaps of his shirt away, she ran the flat of her palm on his abs between them making sure he felt as loved and desired as he made her feel.

His lips followed a blazing trail his fingers made down her neck, towards her breasts. Taking both his hands behind her back, he left hickies on her collar bone, when she found him unhook her laces.  He kissed and licked all over her, leaving her asking for more. Her skin was so soft and so warm that he felt immersed in a pool of cream under his mouth, under his hands and under his entire body. He undressed her completely, before doing the same for him and getting under the covers to make her feel comfortable.

Removing the last pieces of her clothing, he softly nibbled over her shoulder and murmured in a husky deep voice, “You’re beautiful.”

“You make me feel beautiful!” She could hardly whisper, still trying to deal with the surge of emotions taking her by surprise and making her tongue-tied. When he raised his head to look at her, she kissed his forehead. It felt so divine that he knew then and there, that all his desire and passion, longing and craving, pain and pining, attraction and love… every emotion one felt in love, for someone he cared about, for someone he lived for … began and ended on her…

He had never felt so deeply about anyone in his life…

She was his ultimate destiny… She was the reason why his home was his home… she made him feel like he ruled the world and she ensured that she was treated like a princess… she deserved every bit of love that he felt for her… and much much more than this…
She deserved to be treasured…

He whispered, “My pleasure!”  over her mouth, before kissing her hard, all over again. She was delicious and intoxicating and he couldn’t stop kissing her. She must have felt the same as when he gasped for breath, she took over and made a move, planting soft kisses over his mouth, one after the other, so that the chain didn’t break for a long time.

Each moment of intimacy had its own precious little moments, woven into long nights of passion. But today was exquisite.

She couldn’t stop another small tear to appear on her eyelids.
It became hard to for her to breathe without voicing the three words of love resting on her lips. She wanted to tell him how deeply she felt about him but was so terrified to speak of the word ‘love’ that she let the feeling express itself through her kisses and the way she accommodated him and gave him access to all of her.

How desperately he wanted to declare to her that he was in love with her. It felt so liberating to be able to feel that bond with your partner. But he had exactly the same fear… the jinx… he didn’t have the heart to spoil it by naming it and giving labels…

Whatever they had between them, since the day they had met first, since they talked first, got married, kissed first and shared so much… had been special at every stage of their relationship… it had been beautiful every single day… without them needing to name it at any point…

Right now, they were so much into each other, that it became imperative to release the growing unease and the build-up of a throbbing tension between them. It wasn’t a time to speak. It was time to express… the care…the desire…the craving…the need…

He took out the small square foil from the bedside drawer, subtly held her knees to fold them up and got settled between her legs. They could feel each other’s racing, ragged breaths over each other, so warm that it almost felt soothing. They were so close that their sweat mingled as she had wanted, that would make her smell like him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around him. He paused for a moment and looked into her eyes to make sure that he wasn’t hurting her. To make sure that she was prepared. Looking right back into his eyes, she bit her lower lip, trying to steady her heart beats and breaths and with a subtle blink of her eyes, she let him know that he didn’t have to stop…She was fine … waiting for him, desperately… waiting for this insane fire to consume them…

They made love like never before…

And it felt as natural as taking a deep breath in the fresh air of the mountains, letting it enliven each pore of the body. It came as naturally to them as the first shower of rainfall drenching the soft flower petal on a winter night, making love to it, leaving it soaked. It felt as beautiful as warm sunshine falling over the early morning mist, making its entire existence be absorbed in it, to be dissolved completely and merged together in it.

As if, they could look into each other’s eyes and find a window to the other’s soul!


Next morning…

He turned slightly and opened his eyes, only to find her sleeping blissfully in his arms. She slept like a baby, with a soft subtle smile on her face. She was in his hold, with his arm curled around her, and her head resting on his shoulder.

He smiled adoringly and removed her hair from her face, using only the first three fingers of his hand, softly and subtly so that she wasn’t disturbed.

It was a Sunday. And no one was in a hurry to get up or start the day. He checked for time in the wall clock in their room – 11:00 am.

“Nandu…” He whispered, slightly raising his head towards her, mainly to check if she was awake or sleeping.

She murmured in a low voice, sleepy, with her eyes still closed, “Manik…I’m not getting up. Not for another hour!”

“Cool!” He lay down too and dragged her close to him to hug her.

The sound of his phone ringing, woke him up. Dreading that it could be from the client whom they had submitted the project, or from his parents, or any other emergency, he decided to take it. It was in the living room, on the dining table.

Slowly, he pulled away his hand from below Nandini and detached himself from her, as softly as possible and stepped down the bed. Not realizing that when he left her, the warm support beside her was gone and she would wake up invariably. You cannot sleep entangled to a woman and then move away, without waking her up.

He went and received the phone, “Hey! Cabir!! Whazzupp?!”

Cabir spoke quickly as he was panic ridden, “Manik, I’m lost totally… don’t know what to do!! I reached here in the morning and since last 5 hours, I’m trying to talk to my parents but it is not getting anywhere. I shouldn’t have come only… why did I come??”

“Wait!! What happened…”

“My mom tells me that all talks have been finalised between the girls family and our family and this is how it happens in rural Bihar and this is how our family is, no matter how educated and supposedly developed. I can talk to the girl after I get married to her!

“Shittttt!!! Shittttt!!! That’s bad…,” Manik didn’t know what to say to Cabir. When he hadn’t met the girl even once and didn’t talk to her, he didn’t know how this blind game would turn for him. It didn’t happen like that even if it was an arranged marriage. It was only fair if the girl and the boy were allowed to meet before and asked if they saw even a remote possibility of getting along with someone. Sure, you can’t find much about someone in 1-2 meets, but at least you can shortlist personalities you detested even on the first meet. How can you blindly get married to someone, was beyond Manik’s understanding.”

“That’s not all!! They knew that I will protest. So they didn’t tell me about it and finalised everything. Now, they tell me that I have to marry her this week and bring her with me to Bangalore.”

Manik rubbed his lower lip with his index finger and nodded vigorously, “Can you do something about it? Talk to some masi, or uncle…or relative…”

“No one belongs to a better mindset that my parents. At best, they will convince me instead…”

“Oh no!!”

“Manik, should I go ahead? I called you because I don’t know what to do… I can’t think…”

“No Cabir!! I am not against marriages… I mean, I was…once… but now I think that you can give it a chance but not before talking to the girl… how do you know that she is going to like you.. tolerate you… she will be happy with you… that you will like her… be a happy partner to her… don’t go for a completely blind game… even blind dates don’t work! Don’t take such a big risk… if you want my advice, I am not able to even digest this… how can they get you married to someone without even letting you meet her???”

Cabir sighed, “What will I know about her after meeting once or twice… you never know about people, even after living with them for years… I feel like giving up… Maybe…that is life… and that is arranged marriage!”

Nandini turned her side on the bed and waited for Manik. She hated that Manik was not by her side. Her sleep was disturbed the moment Manik walked down the bed. She woke up rubbing her eyes. She remembered Manik’s phone ringing and Manik leaving her a moment back. After a beautiful night together, all she wanted was to wake up next to him and cuddle close to him. She got down the bed to go find him in the living room when she heard him talking to someone in the living room in a low voice.

Manik said, “Listen to me, this is not an arranged marriage. It is a compromise. A compromise that one bears all through his life, just because there is nothing else you can do once you are married to her. You can do nothing – no matter how different you are… no matter how much you hate everything she does… no matter how much she irritates you… you will have to pretend that you care, pretend that all is well, pretend every little emotion because you have neither time nor energy for fights every day. When there is nothing to look forward to, at home, the woman tries to forget her life in kids and kitchen and the man spends extra hours at work, just trying to stay away from the chaos. Is this the life you are talking about? In the end, it is just reduced to duties, responsibilities, and sex. All of them – forced!


Tangles & Ties: Chapter 39: Forced, Is it?