I didn’t post anything in the last two days as I am deeply disturbed by the tragic news of Sushant Singh Rajput’s demise.
We have lost another young life today. So promising. So bright. Immensely talented and so full of dreams or hopes. It feels like a personal loss to so many of us.
Sushant had been the daring one. The one who took chances, took risks, showed us how things are done with hard work and determination to achieve your goals, how not to give up on passions and dreams.
He was the role model for middle class ‘outsiders’ who had only hard work to back them and nothing else. I respected him for his sheer grit and talent. The social media and internet is flooding with his achievements, talents, qualifications, superlative skills and intelligence. And how benevolent he was.
It pains to see that he is gone now. His death came as a shock that rattled me deep.
But it wasn’t a natural death. It was a suicide.
For what?? For things that could have been prevented?? Are we, as a society, facilitating people dying? So easily???
I remember an engineering student, a teenager patient who used to visit me for skin treatment, sharing with me that he wanted to make it big in Bollywood. Like a typical well-wisher and mature elder in age and experience, I was worried for him. I told him to finish his degree first and then try to become an actor as Bollywood is ruthless and full of nepotism, and it is too uncertain. He gave me an example of Sushant and said that when he can start from scratch and reach there, so can I.
THIS was Sushant’s impact. After him, a lot of middle-class youngsters who want to achieve places without Godfathers and parents to spend an exorbitant amounts of money to launch them, have lost hope too . A lot of dreams, hopes, ambitions, and a confidence to make it big have died. And that feels so painful to imagine.
I have been reading about how he was depressed for so many years, how he had no one to share his life with and so many other things that might have lead to this outcome. The fact remains that none of us know anything clearly about him. Neither about his personal life nor about his struggles, his pain, his hopelessness, and what triggered the moment when he had a thought that life was not worth living anymore.
We are really not in a place to comment on his mental state or his struggles. We can keep speculating and sharing theories but it doesn’t help. Nothing will bring him back.
10.8 million followers and that guy was alone. Let than sink in. And let that ring loud and clear about how fickle and fake social media is.
It is easy to talk about mental health, depression, self-love, and self-care on social media. But it is too tough to handle any of them, if it befells you. It is easy to speak about all these things but takes only an empath to imagine what a person goes through when faced which harsh circumstances and difficult challenges.
People offer a shoulder to others to cry on whenever such incidents happen. They write long essays about mental health and how they can help. They tweet poetry and things like ‘my DM’s are open and share whatever you want to. Reach out to me.’
But these are the very same people who turn around once the limelight goes off and then become a part of so-called groups, lobbies, fandoms of celebrities, societies, religious outlets, Bollywood cartels, left-wing and right-wing of politics… you name it and you see these groups… targetting and harassing people for posting anything they don’t like. Calling names, shaming them for looks, preferences, ideologies, and opinions, comes naturally to them.
But have you ever thought what goes on the psyche of a person when you gang up on him/her and bully them for having an opinion? No. You didn’t.
Bullying and targetted harassment have become a thing on the internet. Mocking people for their background, colour, ideology, orientation, or opinion, religious beliefs and traditions they follow is not limited to Bollywood cartels. It is on all of you who facilitate this normalizing of picking on people who don’t agree with you.
People call each other ‘intolerant’ and do exactly what intolerants do. It seems too cool to slash a person’s identity by giving savage replies, putting him down by personal attacks, dragging their families and professions to give indirects and intelligent sly.
Look at what bullying, harrassment, sidelining, lamenting does to psyche of people.
If you attack people in packs and bully them endlessly, then you are part of the problem.
It is not just bollywood. It happens everywhere. Every school, college, educational institutions, offices, artsy workplaces, professional lineages – favouritism and nepotism is a rule, trying to put down the real talent and making them a secondary player dependent on the mercy of big-wigs in the arena.
Social media is a reflection of this mindset. And every single day, you will see people fighting so harshly as if they are being paid for fighting and dragging others in the mud.
STOP this dirty act, already.
If you want to do something for Sushant and people like him, then REFUSE to become a part of any such cartel which wants you to chase others like a mad dog.
STOP bullying. STOP ganging up on someone if they don’t agree with you.
DON’T pose yourself as the saviour or the messenger of compassion, if you don’t know anything about mental health..
TAKE CARE of your own health. Mental stability, calmness and peace is very important. Love yourself enough to not need anyone else to make opinions for you.
READ and form your own opinions.
VALUE your time and energy, and all that you can do with that. Don’t spend it on fake show-offs. Social media is fickle. I repeat. It will get you nothing in the end. Do something concrete, do something constructive, get a degree, get a job, learn real skills and make yourself useful to society.
VALUE your close friends, siblings, family. Even they might be going through some stress and suffering it alone, while you were busy on social media, sulking for things which don’t even matter in the long run. Take care of people closest to you – family, friends, best friends, 4-5 people who are in regular touch with you.
EVEN your maids, helpers, staff… they might be as disturbed as everyone else is, and may have no one to talk to. Ensure that they are in the right frame of mind.
LEARN to ignore things that disturb your peace of mind. Learn to ignore an opinion that you don’t like or that doesn’t resonate with you. Someone telling you that you are fat or ugly or moron or unintelligent reflects on that person’s ugly thought process. It doesn’t make you one. Walk away from such people. You don’t need them.
WALK AWAY from what irks you. Your favourite star doesn’t need your saving from trolls. They have already achieved so much that they care two hoots for trolls on social media. A random tweet is not going to make your star ugly, non-actor, or loser just because some non-entity said so. Who is he or she to opine about a celebrity? No one. Yes, that’s right. People want to become famous like this because trolling attracts attention. Don’t give them that satisfaction. So, stop wasting time in fighting on social media. It will affect your personality and make you a bitter person, affects the positive social system, affects the psyche of the person who just wrote something to either purposefully rile you up or maybe gave an honest opinion. And more than everything, it annoys people who read it.
Still, if you can’t stop yourself, and it is only natural. Like, I try my best not to react to negativity on social media or even in personal life. But when I have had enough and I can’t stop myself, I give one reply and then refuse to be dragged in pig-fights. People who have nothing to do in life will always try to make you like them. Don’t give them that happiness.
NO NEED to explain your stand, or justify your opinions to strangers on the internet. Your opinions, your thoughts, ideologies, beliefs of a lifetime cannot be explained in 280 characters. No matter how hard you try, people will not try to understand. They listen to only what they want to listen.
IDENTIFY self-made and independent talent in every industry. Not just Bollywood or media or politics. Take efforts to know who is working hard to achieve on his own and has been delivering good results. SUPPORT them.
DO NOT SUPPORT anyone who is bullying others, has formed a cartel to sideline talent, made a group to target people, or facilitates harrassment of any kind. DO NOT SUPPORT them. I am angered when I see videos of people selectively targetting Sushant for being a TV actor, for posting long motivational posts on social media, for his styling… none of which was problematic in ANY way. Their insecurities worked against him for he was far too talented for nepotism brigade.
I refuse to be part of any such group in real life, social media or organizations. And I refuse to spend even a penny of my money for them, or even a second of my time for mediocre stuff they dish out in the name of entertainment.
Let us all STOP TALKING and START DOING. If you can change yourself even slightly, it will help your own mental health and of those who are closest to you.
FIRST, you have to ensure that you are not part of that system that normalizes hatred in any form and ensures that more Sushants need medical help to get over with what they are going through and no one to stand by them at the time when they are lowest.
BE that voice, that help, that support which a person close to you needs.
WE cannot bring Sushant back. But, together, WE can ensure that there are no more Sushants around us, taking their lives because the society failed them.
Rest In Peace, Sushant Singh Rajput 🙏 May you leave a message that rings on for a change in the society.
Take good care of yourself and your family. Stay safe.
Lots of love to all of you.