14_06_2020-sushant-singh-rajput-jpg

I didn’t post anything in the last two days as I am deeply disturbed by the tragic news of Sushant Singh Rajput’s demise.

We have lost another young life today. So promising. So bright. Immensely talented and so full of dreams or hopes. It feels like a personal loss to so many of us.

Sushant had been the daring one. The one who took chances, took risks, showed us how things are done with hard work and determination to achieve your goals, how not to give up on passions and dreams.

He was the role model for middle class ‘outsiders’ who had only hard work to back them and nothing else. I respected him for his sheer grit and talent. The social media and internet is flooding with his achievements, talents, qualifications, superlative skills and intelligence. And how benevolent he was.

It pains to see that he is gone now. His death came as a shock that rattled me deep.

But it wasn’t a natural death. It was a suicide.

For what?? For things that could have been prevented?? Are we, as a society, facilitating people dying? So easily???

I remember an engineering student, a teenager patient who used to visit me for skin treatment, sharing with me that he wanted to make it big in Bollywood. Like a typical well-wisher and mature elder in age and experience, I was worried for him. I told him to finish his degree first and then try to become an actor as Bollywood is ruthless and full of nepotism, and it is too uncertain. He gave me an example of Sushant and said that when he can start from scratch and reach there, so can I.

THIS was Sushant’s impact. After him, a lot of middle-class youngsters who want to achieve places without Godfathers and parents to spend an exorbitant amounts of money to launch them, have lost hope too . A lot of dreams, hopes, ambitions, and a confidence to make it big have died. And that feels so painful to imagine.

I have been reading about how he was depressed for so many years, how he had no one to share his life with and so many other things that might have lead to this outcome. The fact remains that none of us know anything clearly about him. Neither about his personal life nor about his struggles, his pain, his hopelessness, and what triggered the moment when he had a thought that life was not worth living anymore.

We are really not in a place to comment on his mental state or his struggles. We can keep speculating and sharing theories but it doesn’t help. Nothing will bring him back.

10.8 million followers and that guy was alone. Let than sink in. And let that ring loud and clear about how fickle and fake social media is.

It is easy to talk about mental health, depression, self-love, and self-care on social media. But it is too tough to handle any of them, if it befells you. It is easy to speak about all these things but takes only an empath to imagine what a person goes through when faced which harsh circumstances and difficult challenges.

People offer a shoulder to others to cry on whenever such incidents happen. They write long essays about mental health and how they can help. They tweet poetry and things like ‘my DM’s are open and share whatever you want to. Reach out to me.’

But these are the very same people who turn around once the limelight goes off and then become a part of so-called groups, lobbies, fandoms of celebrities, societies, religious outlets, Bollywood cartels, left-wing and right-wing of politics… you name it and you see these groups… targetting and harassing people for posting anything they don’t like. Calling names, shaming them for looks, preferences, ideologies, and opinions, comes naturally to them.

But have you ever thought what goes on the psyche of a person when you gang up on him/her and bully them for having an opinion? No. You didn’t.

Bullying and targetted harassment have become a thing on the internet. Mocking people for their background, colour, ideology, orientation, or opinion, religious beliefs and traditions they follow is not limited to Bollywood cartels. It is on all of you who facilitate this normalizing of picking on people who don’t agree with you.

People call each other ‘intolerant’ and do exactly what intolerants do. It seems too cool to slash a person’s identity by giving savage replies, putting him down by personal attacks,  dragging their families and professions to give indirects and intelligent sly.

Look at what bullying, harrassment, sidelining, lamenting does to psyche of people.

If you attack people in packs and bully them endlessly, then you are part of the problem.

It is not just bollywood. It happens everywhere. Every school, college, educational institutions, offices, artsy workplaces, professional lineages – favouritism and nepotism is a rule, trying to put down the real talent and making them a secondary player dependent on the mercy of big-wigs in the arena.

Social media is a reflection of this mindset. And every single day, you will see people fighting so harshly as if they are being paid for fighting and dragging others in the mud.

STOP this dirty act, already.

If you want to do something for Sushant and people like him, then REFUSE to become a  part of any such cartel which wants you to chase others like a mad dog.

STOP bullying. STOP ganging up on someone if they don’t agree with you.

DON’T pose yourself as the saviour or the messenger of compassion, if you don’t know anything about mental health..

TAKE CARE of your own health. Mental stability, calmness and peace is very important. Love yourself enough to not need anyone else to make opinions for you.

READ and form your own opinions.

VALUE your time and energy, and all that you can do with that. Don’t spend it on fake show-offs. Social media is fickle. I repeat. It will get you nothing in the end. Do something concrete, do something constructive, get a degree, get a job, learn real skills and make yourself useful to society.

VALUE your close friends, siblings, family. Even they might be going through some stress and suffering it alone, while you were busy on social media, sulking for things which don’t even matter in the long run. Take care of people closest to you – family, friends, best friends, 4-5 people who are in regular touch with you.

EVEN your maids, helpers, staff… they might be as disturbed as everyone else is, and may have no one to talk to. Ensure that they are in the right frame of mind.

LEARN to ignore things that disturb your peace of mind. Learn to ignore an opinion that you don’t like or that doesn’t resonate with you. Someone telling you that you are fat or ugly or moron or unintelligent reflects on that person’s ugly thought process. It doesn’t make you one. Walk away from such people. You don’t need them.

WALK AWAY from what irks you. Your favourite star doesn’t need your saving from trolls. They have already achieved so much that they care two hoots for trolls on social media. A random tweet is not going to make your star ugly, non-actor, or loser just because some non-entity said so. Who is he or she to opine about a celebrity? No one. Yes, that’s right. People want to become famous like this because trolling attracts attention. Don’t give them that satisfaction. So, stop wasting time in fighting on social media. It will affect your personality and make you a bitter person, affects the positive social system, affects the psyche of the person who just wrote something to either purposefully rile you up or maybe gave an honest opinion. And more than everything, it annoys people who read it.

Still, if you can’t stop yourself, and it is only natural. Like, I try my best not to react to negativity on social media or even in personal life. But when I have had enough and I can’t stop myself, I give one reply and then refuse to be dragged in pig-fights. People who have nothing to do in life will always try to make you like them. Don’t give them that happiness.

NO NEED to explain your stand, or justify your opinions to strangers on the internet. Your opinions, your thoughts, ideologies, beliefs of a lifetime cannot be explained in 280 characters. No matter how hard you try, people will not try to understand. They listen to only what they want to listen.

IDENTIFY self-made and independent talent in every industry. Not just Bollywood or media or politics. Take efforts to know who is working hard to achieve on his own and has been delivering good results. SUPPORT them.

DO NOT SUPPORT anyone who is bullying others, has formed a cartel to sideline talent, made a group to target people, or facilitates harrassment of any kind. DO NOT SUPPORT them. I am angered when I see videos of people selectively targetting Sushant for being a TV actor, for posting long motivational posts on social media, for his styling… none of which was problematic in ANY way. Their insecurities worked against him for he was far too talented for nepotism brigade.
I refuse to be part of any such group in real life, social media or organizations. And I refuse to spend even a penny of my money for them, or even a second of my time for mediocre stuff they dish out in the name of entertainment.

Let us all STOP TALKING and START DOING. If you can change yourself even slightly, it will help your own mental health and of those who are closest to you.

FIRST, you have to ensure that you are not part of that system that normalizes hatred in any form and ensures that more Sushants need medical help to get over with what they are going through and no one to stand by them at the time when they are lowest.

BE that voice, that help, that support which a person close to you needs.

WE cannot bring Sushant back. But, together, WE can ensure that there are no more Sushants around us, taking their lives because the society failed them.

Rest In Peace, Sushant Singh Rajput 🙏 May you leave a message that rings on for a change in the society.

Take good care of yourself and your family. Stay safe.

Lots of love to all of you.

M.

Written By

Manita V

Comments :

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      you have explain your point brilliantly.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Well written.
      I too had written a blog on nepostim and a poetry on Sushant. Have a look, hope you will find it worthy.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      You explained so well Dii.. So much deeply words.. Agree each n every words.. Still in shock 💔😢

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Brilliantly written..straight from the heart and insightful Di! I am not a movie-buff and had watched only MS Dhoni – The Untold Story. Yet his death left me shocked..part of the reason I also believed was that I am working in the mental health field. But as I am reading more about him, discovering that he was an extremely intelligent and deep thinker and a humble, loving soul – my heart shatters. I keep wondering what must he have gone through? Why was none there for him? Why were these qualities not praised as much before? Where have we really failed as a society – that depression and suicides are becoming such gigantic killers. We are now being forced to confront blatant realities – and I can only hope and hope that we actually learn and change! Only then will it be a tribute to Sushant..to many more who go away like this – only because they were themselves? Only because for that one moment they had none by their side? For me, I am going to hold his death close to my heart for a long time as a reminder to work hard to ensure that we can save more people from losing out on their reason to live – and pray that he attains a higher, peaceful realm of existence. His death feels personal..and that was the impact of his goodness, of his humility and his hard-work.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Beautifully written

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Beautifully expressed ❤️❤️

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Beautifully explained ❤️❤️

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Very deep message, beautifully written. It is so true how such drastic measures find their roots in minor experiences that most of us are part of unconsciously. Depression and suicides are the result of many such small incident that cannot be traced back. Awareness about this is very important.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Like that one story you told about that boy there are manyy such people who took inspiration from sushant. I am from Bihar, and I know how biharis are shown down in other states, so he was an inspiration to all of the Biharis foremost and then to outsiders of other states. I am very well brought up lived in Dubai all my life, and now well educated too but I once remember in 10th economics class we were talking about literacy level which was lowest in Bihar and Everyone in the class turned to look at me because I belonged to Bihar. I can never forget that day. I realised how people from my state need to grow more. We have alot of intelligent and hard-working students but always put down because of our birthplace. We’ve to strive harder than others. Till date I have seen people changing expressions after learning I am from bihar . Same is the case with every low class people from all over state. This world is bitch.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        I have heard the similar stories from many people Aisha. It’s like sometimes people don’t even realise that they are putting down and labelling others and it affects them. For them, it is a harmless joke. For the person at the receiving end, it is not.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Very well said. I agree with each and every word. This news is so shocking that my mind is still stuck to it. I can’t believe a person like Sushant was this much disturbed that he couldn’t handle it. I don’t have words 💔💔💔😔

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      It’s ok Di
      Take your time
      This is really a sad news for all of us
      He was very talented and to get the news of him suiciding because everyone in the industry banned him due to his talent is very disturbing
      I myself keep thinking about him and his family and praying to God to give strength to his father and his sister’s who lost their only brother
      I really hope his soul rest in peace

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      You explained so well but people will still not get this because somedays back some people were bullying an actor and they all were from good families and when i said to them that this is cyber bullying they said to me its not its just the truth we are saying. I even said to them that who are you to interfere in his/her life but they were adamant on their place

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        You are right. It is hard for people to change ways. But we can keep trying. And keep highlighting that cyber bullying or bullying of any type is not okay.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Very beautiful, to the point post. It was eye opening post for what and where went wrong with Sushant and helpful to others who are going thru this phase.
      Thanks for this inspirational post

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      The news hit me hard di like nothing could. It showed us the reality, that even when a person has everything except mental well-being, we’re aren’t at peace. I don’t even want to know what his last thoughts were or what he had to go through to resort to this decision because knowing it will only deepen the guilt that nothing was and could be done to save him. Being a star, with millions of people worldwide loving him supporting him, it hurts to know that no one was there to see him drowning and that there wasn’t one person who with whom he could share his grief or have shoulder to cry on. This showed that social media is a facade. To know that the lockdown imposed, has a role in it breaks my heart. I was never a fan of bullying di because it diminishes the person’s self confidence and pushes them to deep corners were some overcome it or give in. It isn’t that easy to numb the voices in our head. It’s takes a hell lot of effort to overcome that and be stronger. I just wish that there are no more sushants.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Lockdown has had severe impact on people. I’ve been hearing about people breaking down because of isolation, losing jobs, loneliness, lack of money and family discord. It all adds pressure to mental well ring.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Just one word di..”Thankyou” for the post..You wouldn’t know how much this post helped me in soothing my mind and brain..

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Bullying, teasing and harassing others starts from school itself. I admit I never shared those incidents with my parents, but I feel better knowing that I remembered what they taught me. I believe if you show your good side then it will automatically reflect on the other person (at least it is true for children). It took sometime but finally they realised their mistake. The fact that these kind of people come from affluent families and still behave in such a manner shows their company. I wouldn’t even blame the parents for that.
      Pulling someone down to achieve success is not at all acceptable. The most negative part is that these so called successful stars are so powerful that no one comes out against them. Nevertheless we don’t know what exactly went wrong, and we never will. May God give Sushant’s family the strength to live ahead.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        It’s time we need to tell youngsters to raise your voice against bullying, right at the moment of inception, when it starts, whether at school or college level.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Everything u wrote is 100% true di, sns is so negative. Only few very few lift each other up, the rest always put others down. After such incidents everyone speaks like a mahaan after few days, it disappears. This is the sad reality!!! I would like to request others, please check up on ur closed ones. If u find anything odd or little change please speak to them, listen to them, be there for them. They need it badly to vent out stuffs which are troubling them. Let’s be there for each other ❤ thank u di for reminding that sns is FICKLE and we shouldn’t spend our valuable time by being active all day on sns.. This is going to be my constant reminder.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      This news is disheartening and I can’t still process or accept that he is no more. Who would have thought that behind his beautiful smile there was so much pain 💔😰 it broke me when he said I have only 2-3 friends and others find me boring so I made books as my friends.. He said few say they will be there for me but when I ring them they won’t pick up 😭😭 mostly everyone who were close to him knew he was going through tough times but none took extra efforts why like y!! He is such a talented and dedicated actor. Such talents and good ppl shouldn’t leave this early 💔 RIP sushant. Hope u are in a better place now..

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      The news hit me hard.
      I am shocked to say anything right now.
      I respected him because he has truly struggled to reach the position in bollywood.
      He proved that hardwork matters.

      I can’t even imagine what he was going through and decided to take this extreme step.

      I want someone to wake me up and say that I had a bad dream.

      May his soul rest in peace!!

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Yes di it’s a shock for all of us. And now nothing can bring him back this is the harsh reality.
      I wish atleast now people will think/do like you said di. But no after some days they are back to their zone.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Very well written..it’s very disturbing news ..people talk about it for few days and it becomes faded out..In 2014, Uday Kiran from tollywood too took such a drastic step. It so painful to see these young actors work so hard to prove themselves and give up when they can’t fight anymore..I think change should start from the society.. appreciate the real talent and try to spread positivity..and as U said, social media is all fake.. even U have thousands of followers doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have a single shoulder to cry on..try to be a make real friends , talk to them as and when possible..and most of all be human..

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Wow again everything you said is true, you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors, they may seem happy on the outside but struggling daily on the inside, I’ve been to so many patients who are doing amazingly well in both personal and professional life but they seen unhappy and just struggling to even wake up in the mornings, so I suggested counselling, people think if you go to counselling you’re mentally unstable and not well but that is not true, ANYONE can go to counselling all you might need is to go to someone who does not know you, who will not judge and take baby steps to getting back to normality, one thing I’ve seen especially around my side of the world (I’ve read it is very similar in India, but please correct me if I am wrong) a lot of people from BME background refuse to expect mental health as an issue and see it as a stigma hence why they take them to “priests, do black magic etc “ but that’s not what they need they need someone who is a professional like a psychiatrist or psychologist to see them and point them in the right direction.
      SO if ANYONE is struggling with anything please seek help (there are loads of things online too) talk to us here, we all are family there is no judging here! I have also offered people advice because I see this on a regular basis, due to my job I got to people when they are struggling and need emergency help, so please gets in touch even for a chat lol

      And exactly what you said Manita, let’s not be a part of a circle where we make people feel so low that they feel that suicide is the option! Bollywood stars will say a few quotes and leave it to that but NOW is the time for people especially celebs because they have diehard followers who listen to everything they say (which can be good but also bad) to take and talk about change especially about mental health and that is okay to struggle.

      Love you for always posting something to make everyone think!
      😘

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      I am just so shook with what happened that I no more know what to say.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Well Said Di. This whole incident has shook me to the core. Sushant’s death feels like a personal loss to me and to many others. May his soul rest in peace. His death sent me on an introspection spree. This is a wake up call for us. This is an alarm. I mean, that the world has become such a toxic place. We just need to be more KIND,MORE GENTLE,MORE CONSIDERATE AND SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHERS.We need to be patient to LISTEN to someone. We need to STOP JUDGING. We must APPRECIATE NOT DEGRADE. It just takes few seconds to post a comment at social media from the comfort of our homes, but we need to give a thought about how badly its gonna impact the person on the other side.This world is going through a lot already, there is enough negativity and toxicity around. This world needs positivity. He is gone. He is not going to come back, But we can definitely stop and prevent this, from happening to someone around us, by just a small change in our own behaviors. A small change can make a huge difference. What can I say… I was following him from Pavitra Rishta days. I will miss him. May his soul rest in peace.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Well written Simar. Every word you wrote is so so true. WE cannot bring him back. But at aleast ensure that no more people are pushed to take this desperate step.

        • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

          And now his sister in-law passed away. She couldn’t bear the loss of him.

          God plz have mercy on his family.

          This is so disturbing. I am crying since two days. Thinking why people are mean that they can’t allow young talent to rise.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      This news has all the more triggered my anxiety. It’s so suffocating and disturbing.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Last night I was in a place where I’m running to him to save him or talk to him or make him feel alright

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      I’m not alright still in shock

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        The news has hit me hard. I never noticed him much and even and I didn’t know much about him. But now everytime I look at his smiling face, I feel terribly sad about loosing him. How does it even matter that he was talented or successful after all he was a human…..We can’t blame him or say he was week or he gave up like most of the people are talking about. We can’t even imagine what he must have gone through when he took this big step. It could have been prevented surely it could have been. It’s just single moment just a single.moment of terrible pain when you feel like you don’t want anything, everything, becomes unbareable. At that point you need to put it all out. You need someone who will be there only to listen to you and some time to let it pass. That was the only thing he didn’t have. No one to share his pain. No one who could have told him that he wasn’t alone. Just that one moment that he didn’t let pass. He decided to end his life. This is inexplicable to express what I feel. This is bitter reality that no one was with him when he was dying with pain, no one made him feel wanted, no one made him feel like now people are praising him and talking about all his talent and how strong hardworking, worthy he was. How great actor, he was. How big inspiration he was. No nothing when he was alive. If he would have seen and got this love, affection and respect before ….I am sure, he won’t have taken this step.
        I can’t even begin to think how much pain his decision has given to his family, and close ones and the loved ones only if we are so hurt.
        I so wish he had never taken this decision. I wish he had let it go. I wish he had let that terrible moment t pass. I wish he had someone to listen to him at that point. I wish he was alive. I wish this was not the endi of his beautiful and inspiring life.

        • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

          Yes. You are right Tanvie. No human deserves to die alone. Without having people around him who would listen to him and tell him that we are with you, no matter happens what.
          If you have even one person in your life, consider it rich.

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