He had tried hard, not to fall in love with her. And he had been successful.
Until now…
And now, he didn’t even know if it was any worth to try harder, anymore!
……………………
Anshuman knew that there was no point in trying to fight with himself anymore. It wasn’t worth it. He knew that he had fallen in love with her.
Even he didn’t realize when the deep-seated admiration that he had always had for her slowly transformed itself in a hope to find an inspiration in her, taking a course over the time to care for her, eventually making his heartbeat pace up when her name was taken, when she crossed his mind, and when she looked at him with those deeply unsettling eyes. The world slowed down to a pause mode after that.
He wiped his face and walked out to go directly to Manasvi. He wanted to see her.
A part of him stopped him. Fought with him. Argued with him. ‘What are you doing, Anshuman? You had decided to stay away.’
‘Maybe I can look at her once!’ He argued back.
Manasvi was sitting on the floor, slightly away from the crowd of patients, talking to a nurse who was bandaging the small wound on her ankle that was swollen now. Manasvi looked behind the nurse. Anshuman was standing there, at a distance, looking at her adoringly. Manasvi blushed and couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. She lowered her eyes. The nurse instructed her not to exert on that ankle. Manasvi smiled and thanked her. The nurse stood up and left.
Anshuman walked closer and knelt down before her on the ground, observing her ankle, “Is it hurting badly?”
“Nah! Just a sprain. It was swollen so she said that I should tie this bandage,” She replied.
He nodded to agree, “Don’t exert more on this ankle.”
She didn’t reply to his advice. Instead, she asked, with her eyes meeting his eyes, “Don’t you think we need to talk?”
This was such a cute, adorable question, that he smiled. He nodded, with a soft shrug, “Talking won’t lead us anywhere.”
“We are not going anywhere, otherwise too.”
In a husky whisper, taking care that no one overheard them, he asked, “Where do you want us to go?”
“Wherever you decide.” She said.
His face was drawn at this. He swayed his jaw painfully and said, “Don’t give this responsibility to me.”
“Anshuman, I want to give this responsibility to you. Take a decision for both of us. I will do as you say.”
“Listen, Manasvi…”
“You have no idea how it feels to know a man like you. I’ve been in awe of you. I’m not even counting that I am married to you. It is still unbelievable…” She spoke in an honest flow of simple sentences.
The reality hit him hard. She worshipped him like no one else. She trusted him and believed that he can never go wrong. He couldn’t accept that.
“Don’t put me on a pedestal. I don’t deserve this.”
“This is nothing. You have no idea how highly I regard you. You will always take the right side. Choose one for me too.”
“What if our right sides are different??” He asked looking straight in her eyes.
“I’ll leave that to you.” She spoke confidently, “I don’t have a right to request you. Or force you. But I can promise. I will always follow you.”
“I can’t give you anything.” He said.
“What you have given me, is immeasurable. I cannot pay for it with my life. But I can promise to stand by you. At all times.”
Anshuman could feel his throat hurting at that. He was about to speak more when he heard Alex calling him from far.
“Anshuman, the boss needs to talk to you. He has called twice.”
“Yeah!” He closed his eyes, struggling hard, took a deep breath, and stood up, speaking to Manasvi, “I’ll talk to you, later.”
“I’ll wait!”
……………..
Anshuman and his colleagues had to ensure that the rescued patients were settled well in the general hospital in Kabul and nearby areas. The equipment was packed carefully, counted, damages noted, and shipped to the other 2 camps located at different parts of Afghanistan.
Manasvi went to the office of the MEA and informed them about the incident. They assured her that the process of her passport would be expedited. They promised her that they would do as much as they could for her.
“I got a call from The Insight. Mr. Mehta has asked us to be back. Since we have no more work with PBB, we don’t need to stay here anymore.” Krish informed Manasvi, as he came back to her, switching off his phone as the battery was low and there were no chargers available.
“Hmm!” Manasvi lowered her face to look at the toe of her right foot, now scratching the dusty floor of the stadium. She leaned her back at the wall of the stadium, overlooking the large ground before them. Hopelessness had started engulfing her after so long.
She had always hated this feeling of uncertainty and hopelessness. When things went out of her hand and she didn’t see any hope, not even for the near future, she would try her best not to panic but couldn’t help the sinking feeling deep inside her heart. After so many years, the same feeling had started creeping inside her and she didn’t know how she was going to manage from here.
Her life was back to square one.
Far away, the sun was setting to embrace a hue of orange over the subtle blue, warning the world about the impending black that would lead to the darkness all over. Her life was no different from this. Happy moments stayed for a flicker of a second, only to be marred by a long haul of gloom.
“Excuse me!” Manasvi straightened herself and started going away.
“Where are you going?’ Krish called her from behind.
“I need to talk to someone.” She turned to reply in short.
“I’ll get the tickets booked for Delhi. We are going back.”
Manasvi could feel her feet getting numb at this. Her throat choked and her eyes moistened as she replied with a salty smile.
“You are going back, Krish. I don’t have a passport.”
……………..
PBB staff was moving around to vacate the stadium used temporarily as their makeshift arrangement. Most of the patients had been moved to nearby hospitals. The equipment and other necessary articles including the luggage were loaded in big trucks.
Manasvi crossed them all and tore through the crowd to search for Anshuman. Finally, she spotted him standing far away at one end of the parking area.
Anshuman was writing the future plan of action on a paper kept on a packaged box before him. He was speaking to a group. Two nurses, another senior doctor, Alex and Amanda were seriously listening to him.
Manasvi hesitatingly took a few steps towards them and stopped. She didn’t know what she wanted to talk to him and how she was going to tell him what she felt. She didn’t even know herself. The mess in her life was increasing, suddenly. And she didn’t want to appear like an opportunist who would find Anshuman whenever she was in trouble. She didn’t even know what he thought about her. His actions in the past 24 hours and a few days before today had given her an insight into his liking for her. She now knew that he was fond of her and liked her. But was that enough? And was it necessary, even, to have clarity into feelings? What was she hoping for them?
She didn’t know.
Manasvi stood watching him interacting with his colleagues and felt clueless. Her heart thumped strongly against her chest. Her throat hurt. She could feel a heavy burden weighing down her shoulders, stressing on her lower back. No, she didn’t have the strength to face him while still holding her tears. She didn’t have the heart to stay unaffected. She turned on her heels and walked away.
As if on cue, Anshuman turned in her direction and found her walking away, with a limp in her injured ankle. He shifted the paper towards Alex and said, “Take over from here. I’ll be back in a while.”
Before anyone could say something or ask, he quickly took fast steps towards the direction that Manasvi had taken. He almost sprinted to reach her and called her from behind, holding her hand as he stopped her, “Hey!”
As if life had returned to her. His hand holding her hand was an elixir infusing life into her. She looked at their hands and then his face before she heaved a sigh of relief.
“Where are you going? Why didn’t you wait for me?” He said, nearly complaining.
“I didn’t want to disturb you.” She murmured.
He wet his dry lips, taking them inside his mouth, and nodded adoringly. He looked around them. There were few paramedics and patients moving around. He softly tugged on their hands to take her between the trucks being prepared for transportation. After crossing a few trucks, they reached a secluded place between two trucks, far away from others.
She followed him, spellbound, not leaving the sight of his face even for a moment. He was still holding her hand. He finally left her after reaching the space where they were just the two of them. He spoke in a velvet-soft voice, “I was looking for you since morning.”
“I was looking for you too.” She whispered.
“How are you? Are you fine?” He asked.
“Hmm!” She nodded to affirm, and asked, “You?”
He smiled lightly, “I have lived my entire life in these situations. It’s no big deal for me. But I was worried for you…err…last few hours were pretty difficult…”
She interrupted him and stepped closer to him, eyes fixed on his eyes, with a whisper on her lips, “Anshuman…last few hours were the most beautiful moments of my life. Not a second was difficult.”
His smile turned into a sad one. He held both her hands in his hands and clutched them strongly within the hold of his fingers curled around hers. He raised their hands between them and fumbled to find words. Softly, he sighed, “Manasvi…”
She didn’t want to regret her entire life for not saying it. She didn’t want any of them to step back from this. More than everything, she didn’t want to know what he wanted… for his wants scared her… His actions were enough to tell her that he felt strongly for her. Whatever those feelings were, they were intense and raw. And she was important to him.
She didn’t let him speak after her name and said, “I want to say something.”
He was as scared as she was. He didn’t want her to say anything. He didn’t want to let her down. He requested, “What if I want to say something first?”
She studied his face carefully. What he wanted to say didn’t look like anything remotely similar to what she was thinking or hoping. She knew that he had something sinister to say and she wasn’t prepared to hear it. Not now.
“If you think that I will not be able to understand your responsibilities, commitments, your dreams for your life… if you think that the life-threatening nature of your work will come between us… I want to tell you…” She starting speaking in a confident voice.
He left her hand and touched her cheek taking it in his palm, with his thumb on her lips, stopping her from speaking more. She stopped speaking. He nodded, “No, it isn’t that. I know how strong you are. Not even once did I think that you will have a problem with my tough life. In fact, the career that you have chosen is as risky as mine…”
Her brows furrowed with her dark eyes stuck to him, “Then what?”
He sighed and blinked his eyes once, momentarily. He left her hand and her cheek and removed his hands from her to turn away. He looked so visibly unsettled that her first impulse was to hug him and hold him. But she stopped herself. He clearly looked struggling to fight with himself. She decided to wait for him until he was prepared to share his feelings.
He leaned his back at the truck behind him. His eyes, reddened with pain. His face, hurting with an inexplicable rush of emotions, appeared to be killing him. Almost terrifying her.
“What?” She asked.
He replied, “Have you ever heard of love without any promises of being ‘together’ and ‘forever’?”
She didn’t even take a moment to think. She just sighed. “You had me at the word – love!”
……………….
{I’ll be live on Instagram tomorrow evening at this time, at 6:30 pm; to talk about The Masquerade; To announce and post my podcasts.
Thank you.}
You had me at the title itself 😉😌❤️
Maam it seems like decade passed that I haven’t read BEB I KNOW YOU R VERY BUSY but can’t stop myself to tell you…… BEB is a weekly sukoon and I’m missing that sukoon.,😭. 😍😍🥰 Waiting for you update 🙏🙏❤️❤️🤗🤗
It’s BEB day 🥳🥳
Can’t wait for Sunday 💃💃 missing ManAn already ☹️😭
Pure Bliss .,….is all I can say after the parting shot. The most awaited update 💓…the denial is as painful acceptance.. what a predicament….for Anshuman… truly he has it hard… Manasvi is so adorable…♥️sne knows him so well… by just looking at him she can say what is coming… Their conversations bare always so intriguing….I can’t wait for the next update…just like Manasvi you got me at the word 😍
How did the insta LIVE go last night?
M, sorry to bother but when can we have next update? Where did you stop? Do you have any idea what that feels like? Can’t express in words what those two idiots are doing to me 😂
Aapke haath me jadoo hai. You have written their emotions so beautifully tat i am falling for ur way of writing again and again. From wattpad to WordPress i have read evwrything u have written and am head over heels for your stories. Love u so much di.
Its good and beautiful and love to see more
The best one 😍❤
Part 40 – One can easily see the longingness, impatience, restlessness, dying for talking and able to the other person in front of their eyes , in both of them. As the time of separation coming close both were dying to be close to each other, even though they knew they have to part away in few hours.
Good thing that he accepted that he loves her. That give a sense of relief.
Both knew that they can’t really say how they feel about each other nor they want to let go this last chance.
She was ready to do anything whatever he says. She was getting ready to hear about her verdict.
And he said it. Living separately but loving each other. Ofcourse she will agree to it. But I liked her reaction. She was dancing in her mind when she heard one word – Love. She was happy to know that he loves her. Lovely update.
Madhuri53
Sorry for the late comment.. Actually I am not well 😟😟
But today I am feeling better so now I am here 🤭🤭
And another intriguing Update ❤❤❤
Love how story is moving forward revealing slowly and steadily all the moments behind those painful moments n all…
That is my happy response seeing the update… 😃😃
Got an Amazing Update 🙂 Chapter dekh kar face par smile aa gyi..
You always manage to bring a smile on my face by updating such a Lovely n Beautiful chapter..
What do i say??? I mean….. U take my breath away by ur beautiful writing, u describe pain n Emotion n even Emotional scenes made me Speechless Always.. ☺😍
All of this feels so real just wow..
I am falling in love wid the story more more n more 😍😍
Looking forward to next chapter Love confession hoga ya na nai i don’t know.. Eagerly waiting for next chapter..
This was the one of best story which had managed to make a place in my heart.. 😍❤❤
Nd last excited for today live 6:30..
Lots of love n stay blessed Dii.. 😍😘❤
I had been eagerly waiting for this chapter and it was again another good stroke. Anshuman and Manasavi are in love with each other 😍❤ and their actions and words have become so intense that everytime my heart start beating up fast.
He looks at her adoringly, she finds him, he complains for not calling him, their conversation about their relationship. .🥰 .a bit clear talk this time about how are they gonna take their relationship further. Mansavi gave him the right to decide about both of them…how passionate is that. She loves him so much. Her way with him is amazing. She never fails to surprise with her emotions and comments.
I always thought that Anshuman was scared that his work is difficult so he didn’t want Manasavi to suffer because of that and even Manasavi thought the same but Anshuman has now clearly denied that reason for keeping her apart. He knows that she is strong enough to handle that ( how lovely is that…after all she is his inspiration 🤍🤍)
Now I’m so eager to find our what exactly is going in his mind and what are his reasons for not letting them be a normal couple. .hahaha..of course they are not. I loved this chapter…they are sooo close sooo close to direct confession of their love. Don’t know hoga ki nai…you know that. It’s almost there. The name of the chapter itself was “Love”
You had me at that 😊😊
Thank you so much di…Stay happy and blessed 🤗🤗
Omg… what an intense comment was that!! 💖💖
I read it two times before typing the reply. It is so so beautiful. Thank you for all the emotions you have invested in this story and Anshuman Manasvi.
I feel indebted, touched, honoured. Stay blessed 🤗🤗💖💖
Love , love and only love 😍
Such a beautiful chapter!
Love…that too coming from Anshuman I never thought that he would talk first.
Doc! My patience levels are dying now.
Anshuman’s question did give a hint of separation between ManAn..no matter if Manasvi agrees or not. Or Am I thinking too much
But you got me at the passport thing.. clearly Manasvi can’t go back without passport.
Will be waiting to read further.
I don’t have instagram. So can’t join in live
All the best for Masquerade.
Wish you get success
Much love doc!
No problem if you don;t have Insta. I hope we can continue to connect here. Always.
Wishes are important for me.
Medium is secondary. Love you 🤗🤗
Hmmm me too don’t have insta, M and also it will be very late night. I know i can bug you anytime so skipping tonight’s session.
As I always say, medium is secondary. Whoever can join is welcome.
Or else, you know that I am always here!!
And I am accessible, (well usually 😊)
Take care.
love you.
Amazing update, I am falling in love with the story more and more. My dear writer you are a genius, as every story of yours have a unique way of expressing love and so fresh.
This is such a pleasant chapter. When I saw the name, I was expecting Manasvi to voice out her feelings to Anshuman. Never expected that if would be Anshuman to talk about Love first!! So he wants to be in Love without worrying for forever and together. Thats a first step. Once you accept that you are in Love and voice it out, the other 2 would follow. No doubt about it. She will make sure she will hold on to whatever he can give her, even its just for a moment!
Your writing clearly displays characters in front of me. Very interesting story. As usual you kept us in suspense now. Thanks Di for the update.
Hi di…That was a fantabolous chapter..Emotions were so raw and beautiful..Could sense that all throughout..Just can’t imagine what have you kept on store for us..I mean the anshuman track..I am already scared seeing his struggle..I was late in reading because having a terrible tooth pain and it’s not letting me sleep nor do any work..Looking like a lost soul…The chapter made me happy now and temporarily relieved from all the pain..Too excited for the installation live tomorrow di..Let’s rock the insta tomorrow..Can’t wait anymore..Di also wanted to ask love lies etc when are you uploading it..I mean it’s long been waiting and i miss it too much..
loads of love
Priya
Oh my god…😍😍😍😍
During reading this chapter my heart beat was fluctuating very fast . Just wishing “Plz Ansuman plz don’t tell …. Don’t tell that you can’t …. Plz 😭😭😭”
Kaas ye afgan Wala scene khatm hi na ho kaas wo dono apne – apne profession se pehle ek dusre ko rakhe ….❤️❤️💗🥺🥺
But I know ma’am aap jaha v iss stoy ko le jaiyega it will be most beautiful…❤️❤️❤️
I love you 😍😍😍 manasvi and ansuman
Again greedy heart want to read more………..
God what an amazingg update and u really have amazingg skill make ur reader’s heart beat so high😭♥️ loveddd it♥️
Godd!!!! My heart skipped a beat at their actions. It’s actually threatening to come out. Di, this one was worth the wait…❤❤. Can’t wait to see what is there in store for them. And for the live.
And you had me at the notification of an update😀 Loved every bit of the update.
Will definitely be there at the live tomorrow
Dii you have no idea how much I love this story.. how much I crave to read the updates.. how often I refresh the page.. I know I’m not the only one who does it😂😂
Dii it’s so funny that I get your updates notification even in my dreams 🤣 and then suddenly I wake up to check my mobile for notifications even if I know it’s just the dream😅 this happens everytime when you inform that you’ll update today or anything like that🤭
And coming to the update it was so intense that I didn’t want to miss any of their moments… you wrote it so beautifully that I can literally visualise them😍🔥 can’t wait to read further dii♥️
And also will definitely join the live tomorrow.. all the best dii♥️♥️♥️
Same here …..I think am the only one who did this😂😅
Dammm!! Again u left us on the edge❤. Not only manasvi but anushman had us also on the word love❤. I totally love them nd thank you to you for giving us manasvi nd anushman.
By the way how was your potato crackers nd noodles🍜🤪.. Just kidding, thanks for the update, can’t wait for the next one
God I was feeling low with some unsettled feeling.. I got happy seeing ur update. .bt now again unsettled feelings. .i neverr understood emotions. .but how can you let me explore so many reigns of emotions
Oh my god 😱 the story is awesome 😍and cant wait for the next update. I’m refreshing this site everyday so k dont miss anu update of yours. U r true inspiration for many of us mam and I’ve learnt many things from your stories and thank you for all that motivation you have given through your stories mam. I’m really grateful for you ❤😊
Last line reminds me of “You had me at HELLO” 😄
But what a deep-seated love they have for each other.. a feeling which transcends all borders literally.. be it their own personal shackles or anything.. nothing seems more significant than this. Such a beautiful story this is.. wish you publish this as well as in your future novels.
Excited for tomorrow live 💃💃 6.30 it is😍 will be there to spam with msgs 😂💃💃
Really loved the update ❤❤ I could literally feel their emotions. U have penned it down beautifully 😇😇
I’ don’t want to see them sad please.. Not now. Let this momentum keep going for atleast few days..those little things like sneaking her out, smiling at eack other, touching her cheeks and her lips 😍😍 we want more such beautiful moments ..
Wow Diii amazing
Though it’s difficult fr him to express his feelings bt d way u showed both of them is just beyond everything
My fav chapter till now🤗😍😊
He was complaining like a kid ” Y u didn’t wait for me ” 😍😍 loved the way he started to express..
Taaay Tom live updates on Masquerade
Blow out 😭😭😭😭😭 will they meet a while or seeing each other atlest 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 – is ther a world like this in reality 🥺🥺
Huh he touched her lips n hands entwined 😭😭😍🙈🙈🥰🥰🔥🥺
Update woohoo will comment once I get home
X
Omg I’m falling in love with this story but when have i not fallen in love with you’re stories, thank you Manita for another amazing story!
Also I don’t have Instagram, but will get it just for the live lol also it will be 06.30 India time for I’m tome would be around 1400 ish and I’m at work, I hope I don’t miss it. 😣
Love you
😘
Y are these two so adorable😭😭 happiness is short lived 😒😕 I feel bad for manasvi, just now she was hoping for good things then this news about returning back ☹️ their love story has to face so many obstacles y like y 😭😭 let my babies be happy for some more time 😩😩
This is amazing. It feels like we are going through the same emotions as Anshuman and Manasvi. All of this feels so real, the emotions are so raw, and just so captivating. Your imagination is so strong.
Always eagerly waiting for the update. 🙂
And excited about the novel – The Masquerade – can’t wait.
Thank you Divya.
I feel blessed and privileged to have a connect with people who like to read what I love to write 🤗🤗
I honestly wait for u to get update of this story. I every day refresh this account so that I don’t miss ur story. All the stories u wrote are very close to my heart.You are an amazing writer.All the very best for ur new book and may God give more opportunities and success!!
To be very honest, I don’t like to make people wait. I wish I could write more often and make up for all those times when you had to wait.
love you 💖💖🥰🥰
i have never waited for anything this eagerly…
repeatly refreshing the account to be honest i have lost the counts.. Thank you so much for updating.
closest one to my heart. though i love every story written by you..but this is something else..
Loads of love💜
Take care🤍
This update, uufff is another experience in itself. Also cant wait to join the live chat tomorrow, though it will be around 5pm for me n ill still be working, but will sneak in some live time.
Aswome …. Just few words have so much deep meaning and understanding… This love is beyond anything and everything .
💖💖💖
Can you hear my heartbeat? I can literally hear it … that’s how loud it’s beating
💖💖
You had me too at the word LOVE …. you can’t stop here
Aaahhhh title kya hai … I need to blink goin to read… 🤩🤩🤩😍😍
😍😍🥰🥰
Are they going to be separated for now?😥
InshaAllah i will join the live of tomorrow❤
Thank you. Love you 💖😍
Didn’t started to read but just came to comment to show the excitement after seeing the title LOVE 😍😍😍💃💃💃💃❤❤❤❤ now going to read 🏃♀🏃♀🏃♀🏃♀🏃♀🏃♀🏃♀
💖💖💖💖