Influences on us- My Corner 21/02/20

Hello Everyone,

I’m here for my post on #FridayConnect.

I am late today as it is the MahaShivratri festival today. Every festival, every holiday, every Sunday and every other day when your family is free and at home, maids are on leave, and there are hundreds of additional things to do, like preparing for prayer ceremonies, making special food, cook and clean, I miss my parental home.

And that is the topic of my post today. Let’s appreciate people who silently make lives so beautiful and worthwhile for us, without asking anything in return, except a gesture that we are happy.

My parents have lived a tough life. I’m sure all the parents have.
Being parents, providing for a family, raising children, educating them, teaching them values, making them confident of themselves and stay right there at every step of life, assuring them support is no less feat. Doing all this with limited means is another level of challenge.

When we were very young, I have seen my mother cooking, cleaning, taking care of us as we couldn’t afford maids. She did all this in mornings and evenings as she was a working woman. She never took help from us, saying that – “All I want from you is that you study and make a good life.” She toiled day and night while we studied at the same time.Β  My father used to say that – “Books are the only best friends who don’t leave your side. Whether it is an academic book or fiction, they are priceless, because they teach you things you haven’t even faced yet.”

My parents are people who didn’t talk a lot about ‘women empowerment’. But they taught us by gestures what feminism and women empowerment means in true sense. They were both in Govt. job and with their limited salaried income, they decided not to splurge on luxuries but to spend on educating their children and inspire them to learn skills.

Today, I met my parents. And every time, I am with them, I make sure they know how much I value their presence in my life. Whatever little I have achieved in life is because I had these two people in my life and there is no way that I can ever pay them back.

My post for today is meant to highlight the importance of people who inspire you, steer you towards the right direction, motivate you, be with you… By the few words they speak, they have the power to change your entire line of thinking and give you the peace you have been searching for.

Tell me, in comments — Who is that strongest influence in your life? And what words do they say to motivate you?

Lots of love,

M.

………………………………….

Edited —Β 

A lot of people are messaging me that – ‘I haven’t done anything significant. So, I don’t know what to write.’ One person has written that she couldn’t study more, so she felt low after this post.

First, I wanted to delete this post. My purpose in posting is never to flaunt about anything that I have been doing, whether education or following other things, including writing.

But then, I didn’t delete it — My purpose is to help you realize the value of people in life who move you forward. In my case, it was being able to get an education. But I also respect my friend who left studies half-way to support her family and found a job. She is as responsible and empowered as any other woman on the planet.

In fact, even if you don’t work, you are empowered and strong —
if you know how to take care of your family,
if you are a gentle compassionate person,
if you have ever fought against atrocities or injustice,
if you know how to stay strong in tough times,
if you know how to be someone’s pillar of strength when you are breaking inside,
if you respect yourself,
if you respect people who do something for you..
If you are proud of anything that you have done or any trait that you feel makes you special —

Then, you ARE special.

And there are people behind us who ensure that we stay true to who we are and who we become… they can be parents, family, husband, siblings, children, friends, colleagues and sometimes, people you have never met…

We all need to value that inspiration and keep them safe πŸ™‚

Take care

Written By

Manita V

Comments :

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      My father is the strongest influence in my life. Not only did he educate me as much as I wanted, he never pressurized me to choose which stream I should follow. When I turned 14, he sat me down and explained in detail about bad touches, date rape drugs and exploitations girls face. This, about 30 yrs back! Also that if I feel uncomfortable about any person, I should talk to him immediately, whoever that person might be, teacher or neighbour or classmate, even relative.
      He told me when I turned 18 that country is above all and that I should never, ever do anything which harms my country in any way. Because he will never forgive that.
      When I got married he told me just before bidaai that the kanyadaan was only a ritual. That my parents’ home was still mine and I retain every right to it.
      My father is now in his 80s, suffering from a kidney condition, plus high BP. I worry about him constantly as he lives across the country, he in Kolkata and me in Gujrat.Every time my phone rings at night, I get scared. What if it is about which I don’t want to even consider. Praying and making sure over phone he takes his medicines as per prescription are the only reliefs.
      Thank you Doc, for giving me this opportunity to talk about my father. It means a lot to me that I could share about him to other co-readers. β€οΈπŸ€—

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      There’s are two persons first it’s my mom who has been through everything to bring us up at this stage di..but still I annoy and trouble her..I am feeling so bad after this post because just rewinded back how much she has done for us to get us here and I have not done anything to her… secondly my husband he’s been a constant pillar of support for me post marriage..we do fight a lot but he has never given up on me till date and I know that he loves me more than anything and he can do anything for us( me n my kids)..

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Yea….I also this that nobody will understand us. But they try to understand and help us but sometimes it doesn’t make you feel like things will get better unless we analyse and understand the situation.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      I wouldn’t say I have that one person in my life how keeps on motivating me. At different stages of life I have different people. Sometimes my friends, teachers, parents or even strangers who encourage me to be happy with what we have and to give my hundred percent. But the constant motivation I get is from myself that I give myself. When I am in a low mood I isolate myself, observe people and think a lot(like literally a lot) that a one point I feel “It’s fine I wil get over it”.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Wow! The way you have described it is truly inspiring. I do that too… a LOT… like you said…
        Mostly because I don’t want to trouble my parents for every small thing… and rest, I don’t think anyone will understand what I am going through…
        So I keep to myself a lot of times… That is actually true healing because we know when to move on…

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Beautiful thought, to appreciate such influences is small gift we can give for what we are today or rather what we have become of their efforts.. sometimes we are so overwhelmed with our work and other responsibilities that we tend to ignore the need to thank them and be there for them when they are on their own …and we have moved ahead in our lives with too much on the plate… though unintentionally..so taking time out for them is the best thing we can do in today’s gas material world..so Thank you for sharing this wonderful post.
      Even I wanted to ask about your other works not only Manan but Shanak also..when can we access these works, I too couldn’t read your Spark and Spice as I was too tied up with medical emergencies in the family..

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        And I get to better mood. You once I was discussing with my friends about another friend’s friend who attempted a suicide because she wasn’t able to clear her competitive exams. And the driver was listening made me and my friends promise to him that we will never talk about such things ever in life. That made me feel so touched that I actually did follow his words and made sure that no body around me talks and thinks such.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Dear Prabha,
        Thanks for sharing your opinion.
        You are right, taking time out for parents and loved ones is the best we can do in this fast track world.
        I will post all my stories on this blog.
        Just give me some time
        Lots of love,

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Please help me for searcy the story your story is excellent

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Hi I am new their your story is very beautiful and interesting please help me I want read all your story but I search Spice & Spark other stories please help

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Yup I totally agree with u. Parents r our greatest support in our life. I know and saw how my father struggled to make us what we r now. I can proudly say my parents r the best in the world. I want to take care of them and fulfill everything they want.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Thanks for sharing kalpana..
        I wish you are able to take care of your parents, the way you have planned and may you achieve everything required for that.
        God bless you.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      How innovative can you get with these My corner posts. Thank you for making us realise the importance of people who have made an impact in our lives.
      Obviously parents are the first idols of every children. Though from my dad side, no girl has got into higher education, but my parents made sure that me and my sister do become independent and educated, which has resulted into a CA and a doctor.
      Similar to yours though the means were there, but they preferred to spend on our education instead to splurge on luxuries.
      After my parents, comes by Maasi who is a gynaecologist and my sister who is CA, who have set an exemplary example from rags to riches. They motivated me that with sheer hard work and dedication, nothing is impossible.
      And then comes you, your writing has always left an impact and made me think always in a positive perspective.
      Thank you to all of you.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Wow… so many doctors in your family.
        I’m glad to hear when people have lots of positive influences in their lives.
        It adds value to days, decisions and small moments of joy.
        Bless you πŸ™‚

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Nice post. Parents are really important in our life, my life. Everything you mentioned happened with me. We are a large family and staying jointly with Uncle and his family. Do we always got less and we couldn’t demand whatever we wished. We have to always thought and prioritize our needs then ask them, that too we never know that will get fufllfilled. But we got good education in better place, can earn and spend as per our wishes now.
      Now its my time to take care of them whenever they comes to my place. Seeing them so old now it hurts that still they do their work effeciently. They are biggest support of me.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        You are right, Madhuri,
        Seeing parents getting old and weak is the toughest for kids. Yet, they try to be the biggest support any child can ever have in their lifetime.
        And that is the grace of parents. Even when they are old, they want you to be happy and ask you if you need anything.
        Thanks for writing.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      My parents always made sure that i am free from all the struggles but the motivation which i need in times of low…when I cant even share it with anyone…as if god himself send it…you started beyond every border book which made me open my eyes and realise how lucky i am to have a peaceful life and parents with me when people are struggling to have a normal life…i always wondered why am i so talentless and why am in not special but then i realised being special requires a lot of hardwork…and may be i am yet to find my talents…moreover… being special is always risky…right ?? Hahah *winking** just kidding…but you have a very big role in changing my life dii… I love youu and thank youu

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        I’m overwhelmed.
        Whenever someone writes that some of my story or a part of it changed their way of thinking, or motivated them, or inspired them, I feel like the purpose of what I do is achieved. When I started writing, it was only to express myself. And when I saw that readers are connected, they feel happy or they feel motivated, that itself became a motivation for me to continue. So, the cycle is both ways.
        All of you motivate me too.
        Thank you for all the lovely words. You ARE a special girl and once you accept it, you will see the world change around you.
        Trust me. It does!

        Wish you all the best πŸ™‚

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Honestly whatever you’ve told is absolutely true di. My parents would never let me know about the struggles they went through..i would always motivate myself by saying that I should provide them will all the comforts and luxuries they’ve sacrificed for me..i will always be thankful for the comfort they always afford me..it’s so inspiring to see you coming up with posts like..i always learn something or the other from you. πŸ™‚

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Thank you dear,

        The best form of motivation is self-motivation.
        When you feel motivated to do something to make your parents happy, and proud of you, nothing can match that! I really wish that you are able to achieve everything that you have dreamed about and make all of us proud.

        Take care

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      I have to say it’s my mother all through my life (until she was alive) and my husband came along after marriage and my daughter when she grew up. At every stage of my life, i got more and much needed support.

      Maa, taught me morals and fundamentals which we all would be very very important. Also she was that strong pillar of support at every step, until she was alive.

      Got married and when i migrated to Australia, hubby got added to my support pillars to get adjusted to new country, environment and work culture.

      And my daughter came along. As she is growing up, she has become a shoulder for me to lean on. She has become the mother i lost. Born Indian, with strong traditions, she supports me in understanding and accepting both cultures.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        This feels so good to hear.
        To have different people motivating you through the journey of life is all we can hope for. I’m glad you have people around you who you can count on.
        Especially daughter. Daughters are the best support mothers have. They understand and love you like no other.
        All my good wishes for you…

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Well Said Di…Its a wonderful message.
      In my case…it has to be two people who influenced my life…my mother and my elder sister.
      Both of these woman taught me everything I know in my life.
      Be it the value of relationships….the importance of education and standing up on our own feet.
      And most importantly…how to make a balance between self love and giving importance to your own self, also turning an ear and catering to others needs too.
      Everything I am and everything I will be in future will be all because of them.
      In our lives…there are two kinds of people who influence is
      One who influence us in a positive way whom we admire and aspire to be like them.
      Then there are people who influence us in a not so good way and we learn from them that what actions we shouldn’t be doing in our lives.
      But both of these influences are important and they teach us so much.

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        You are right, Simar,
        It is very important to love yourself as well as understand what others expect from you. I’m glad your mom and elder sister are there to guide you through the process. Like you said, we meet both positive and negative influences. It is important, not to get overwhelmed by negativity. Instead, use it for pushing you ahead.
        Take care πŸ™‚

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      My biggest motivation has to be my father. He is a man of few words, but his gestures speak the loudest. It’s one more year till I enter into college. Seeing him work so hard it motivates me to study with more dedication and enter into a good college. My mother would feel extremely happy if I achieve so. She would feel that all her hard work and sacrifice have paved a way for my success. She wants me to do all those things in life that she wasn’t able to do. Her blind trust upon me stops me from doing anything which might hurt her. They have given me the best of all.
      And ofcourse writers like you who have made a place in my heart. The ones who make me think about the little things that have great meaning in life.
      Thank you

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Thank you for writing Dhruvi,

        I’m so proud of you that you can see your parents working hard for you, dreaming of a good life for you. It will always take you very high.
        In this day and age, it is not hard to find kids picking faults and flaws in parents, abusing them and mistreating them.
        I feel sad when I see such people. They don’t know what they are missing in life.
        At the same time, people who are attached to their parents, love them and learn from them, working hard so that they feel happy have all my heart and support.
        Always stay this positive. You will get a very good college.
        All our blessings are with you.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Edited the above post – Please Read!!

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Hey Manita! Love the topic of discussion for today!

      Where can I begin. there have been many many people who had and impact (both positive and negative) in what I am today. We meet so many people every day. Some stay and some don’t..but each one will have a lasting impression on you. one should learn to take everything with a stride!

      Grand parents and parents – born into a business families, which didn’t require them to study. but my grandparents (both sides) never influenced their kids to do what they wanted, but they gave the kids (my parents and aunts and uncles) the freedom to choose what they want to do in their life and have supported them thru it be it to study or to settle down. Hence we have CAs, doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs and ppl who are at a very high positions in banks, and other companies in our families.

      But but, there was always a few people who always say that “that is not for a girl to do” or “this is not for a girl to do”. My dada/dadi or nana/nani even though they haven’t had a formal education beyond 3rd or 4th grade never believed in those things. I am first girl grand daughter on my dad’s side. When I started driving car/bike, my dadi was so proud that she used to say to anyone and everyone that I can take her around wherever she wants 😁😁. When I got my dada a pocket watch with my first salary, he still has it and carries around even after over a decade, he was so proud. My nana/nani always encouraged all the grand kids to follow their heart. Though they never said that in words, there were so many many instances where it translated to that.

      My mom – though she couldn’t go back to doing masters or job after she got married as my dad just started a new job in a new city and started working on his masters partime had to stay back and raise 2 kids. But she went back to learning at 35 years. earned a diploma in computer education for kids and became a computer teacher at 38 yearsπŸ˜„

      And there have been many other people while I was studying, working. cousins who fought many odds in their personal life, taught me how to withstand any kind of storm, friends who had been always there just to hear me, husband coming from an almost dysfunctional family and making a mark for himself, my kids who put a smile on my face everyday and so many acquaintances, strangers, the most recent being my current manager. . Coming to US had a great positive influence on me and my development.

      Thanks for the topic! and apologies for such a long long rantπŸ™ˆ

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        I’m so glad you wrote about it, Somya.
        Please don’t apologise as I loved reading each word and that took me to all the people who have played an important role in making changes in my life.
        You are a positive person and I get that because of your approach towards people and circumstances. The ability to learn the positive aspects of all that touches us, makes a strong impact in shaping a personality.
        We can choose to ignore the negative parts and focus on positives, improve and learn. Or dwell on negatives and keep sulking only to waste time.

        Thanks for sharing.

        • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

          Oh wow! Thank you so much for such beautiful words about me.

          Yes, my mom always says, listen and hear everything that everyone says, but absorb and apply only those which are meaning full, both positive and negative. What is life without any hardships? they are the stepping stones for success and betterment. If we have an open mind to everything, its easy to cope!

          Most of the time we don’t realize the impact a person has or had on us. It takes us sometime to know what they taught us directly or indirectly.

          You have been such a positive force all thru the time I have known you. Though its very little I might know about you, but whatever interaction I had with you thru your stories, messages and thoughts, I admire your strength!

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Hyy sis….i dont have a particular person who influence me so much…everyone nd their good deeds do influence me….even bad deed teach me tat i shdnt do tat…i get motivAtion from myself,..self motivation is d best type of motivation,…i get to learn better things frm everyone even actors….like niti….she is one my greatest influencer in actors….even u do inspire me coz ofsuch beautiful english skill…now am in 12th…board xams gonna come…πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜±πŸ˜¨πŸ˜°pls say some wrds of motivation….also am a neet aspirant….but am in two thoughts if i shd become doctor or not coz almost everyone who come across me say negativities of it,..pls say smtng abt doc profession tooo

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Also coz of boards i cldnt cmt recent chappy …sry…but i readπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ coz its a stressbuster

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Hey Ramya,
        Thank you for considering me worthy of being able to say something to motivate you.
        I will again quote my father. He always says that your life is divided in two segments before you retire. First 30 years and Next 30 years. People who work really hard in first 30 years, have a comfortable life in next 30 years and they peacefully retire and live a life they have dreamt about. People who don’t bother much about studies and are carefree in first 30 years, have a hard life in next 30 years and their retirement is less peaceful.
        So make it the best phase of your life, study well, make a life and make everyone around you, proud of you.

        Medicine is an amazing field but I always tell everyone that you will hear people saying negative things about it as they consider it as a profession. Medicine is not a profession. It is a calling. It has to be taken as service to humanity and society and as a strength.
        If you want to study and earn a lot of money, early in life, Medicine is not for you. If you want to study human body, help people heal it and be there for them in every circumstances without thinking about money, only then you can be a succesful doctor.
        Only then, you can justify the hard work and dedication involved in it.
        Don’t get demotivated. Talk to yourself and think what you want to do in life. Any route is good as long as it is done honestly.

    • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

      Oh god what do I say,
      I defo believe and have lived everything like you have my parents are my biggest supported aswell as my siblings and friends i honestly could have not asked for a better life, with all the struggles that I’ve been through I know they’ve been right behind me holding me up whenever I fall.
      They always say to me the sky is the limit, you can achieve anything you want in life as long as you work hard for it and put an effort, because you won’t get it at the drop of your finger, you actually need to work for it yourself.

      Love you mani for also being there, you have helped me sometimes without you even knowing honestly
      πŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜ŠπŸ€—

      • Author GravatarAuthor Gravatar

        Love you too Aasma. I have always found you around me, wherever I have taken my stories and this is the fourth online platform. You never crib, never complain.
        Thank you.
        And I agree with what your parents say πŸ™‚

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